pain vs reality

pain so high...

brain seems to be guiding the body

"take a knife n end it all"

body seems so much in pain to disagree (thank god...)

the smiles have faded away...

joy seems to have never existed

only think that can be felt

is the tussle between the mind n the body

pain so high... still body wins over mind

mind loves me too much so can't let me bear the pain...

body loves me too much so can't let me end the pain....

who should i be thanking.... who should i ...

my nomadic dreams

when dreams run to catch u

thats the time u realize the smile

that smile which can explain ur dream

that look in the mirror which can say the unsaid words

the nomad in me wants to move

the stagnant me wants to keep me stationed

the tug off war is on constantly

the struggle for movement... oh yes the struggle

this seems like the time when i wanna live

this is the time i wanna vanish

but what so ever the mind says

my heart still will be wandering about the river side...

that sand in my slippery mind

that water which can be held in my arms

the feeling of setting sun in my hair

the option to capture the eternity is always mine....

Somethings never change

trying to figure out if this is good or bad

caught between friends n foes in my mind

not sure if i wanna be out of this dilemma or am i enjoying this once again

so many things that need my attention yet

these thoughts make me wonder n digress

so many things that can change, are in need of change, must be changed

yet it seems to be an eternity since they have changed

not sure if somethings that never change - need to be changed or chained as they r

where r these thought leading me to...

i am guiding them or r they leading me to no mans land

so much confusion that i am not thinking of rapidly changing me

so much stagnation that i am still not thinking of rapidly changing me

so much... so much ... so much yet so little is in my mind...

it is affected by things which hold no meaning in my heart

it is reacting to actions unintentional and not for me

where is the love n warmth i felt within me for life

where is all this mess found way into my life

it was simple n i made it so....

but did i do it knowingly or just that i wanted to change and face the world the way it is

am i being guided by the waves of worldliness

am i ready to be tamed....???

NO... i will not let this be... i will make my way through to the end...

n i will smile coz i WANT to smile

i will make my feelings felt by my heart....

I WILL... I WILL... I WILL not let somethings change yet will make some changes....